(page translated with Google translate)

J. Bowlby was the first to speak of the importance of attachment. According to this theory in humans there is a tendency to establish emotional ties tight (attachment) with some people (parents) from which you expect protection in situations of danger, pain or loneliness. This trend is already present in newborns and persists throughout the lifetime. In the first years of life when attachment figures respond adequately to the child requests allow the establishment of a secure base on which will rest the later stages of development, if the answers are not satisfactory, the base will be unstable and insecure.

During the interaction with the mother, the child develops stable beliefs about yourself as present and accessible, and of himself as worthy of love, or not. This period of development is very important because it leads to the growth of the system that will guide all the relational and affective exchanges of what would later be adult life. Since the emotional self-esteem and full self-consciousness have not yet formed, if there are experiences of abandonment by one of both parents, children unknowingly experience is the ambivalence between pain and anger for love not received, is the doubt not worth that much and having to do everything to be the best. And it is on these premises that later will form affective style of the adult person in his love affairs (Clulow 2001).

TREATMENT

Typically before proceeding with a couple psychotherapy, sometimes it is necessary to start with an individual therapy especially when the relationship problems stem from serious individual problems (depression, etc.). The initial individual therapy is also used in order to reach a comprehensive framework and equidistant.

But when the couple problem is not chronic cycles and is presented by people psychologically well structured, able to recognize their emotions and the emotions of others with some degree of empathy, or when the problem is purely sexual in nature, then it can be more effective couples therapy.

Although there is difference between the couples therapy and sexual, it often happens that in the context of couple therapy, addressing problems related to the couple's sexuality as well as in sex therapy, we all deal with relationship issues the couple. The two aspects, the sexual and relational, seem to be essential. Crucial to the success of an effective path is the motivation of both partners to want to participate in couple psychotherapy. The couple psychotherapy is generally short, because if a couple does not have serious problems solves them soon, or in addition to stop treatment, it is likely that disrupts the life of the couple.